It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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