I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
