I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
