i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize