Only a mothe r could love this liver
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we're making bets on your personal life
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
