I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
