The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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