i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
