Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
