So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize