My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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