i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Someone came in the potted fern
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
