your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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