There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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