i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
