i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize