Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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