i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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