Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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