every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
