I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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