There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
