so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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