Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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