Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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