Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
