So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he quoted the bible to break up with me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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