My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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