I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
