she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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