R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
