do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
