yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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