Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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