DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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