I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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