What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
