Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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