she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
