The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
