So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
