Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
