it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
