You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
