ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize