im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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