he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
