i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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