I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
