why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
