It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
