he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize