weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's Friday. Sex?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
