are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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