You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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