You're so nebulous sometimes
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
