I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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