Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
