Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
