So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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