Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
