I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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