what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
please come you make the beer taste better
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
