Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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