you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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