Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
