look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
