nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
